I just emailed this to Will Smama and it was total stream of consciousness. So I thought I'd throw this out for the world to see. This is what happened to me today and my thoughts on it. I would really appreciate feedback. Constructive feedback to my final question. I am not alarmed or worried, just seeking some insight....
Hey.... thought I'd give you a mini-update. I had an MRI last week. (I think I told you, but not sure.) They wanted to make sure that the lesions I had on my brain in 2002 have not moved, grown, etc. Well.... they're not there. That's the good news. We had thought that possibly the lesions were the cause of some muscle and joint issues I have been having. My whole right side goes numb and that's not how FMS acts. So they wanted to just double check. Well, brain is normal!
But...idiot medical professionals that are here..... The girl who called said, "Just wanted to let you know that everything is normal so all is well." And then she said something which confused me, "How is your sore throat?" I said, "I don't have a sore throat." She said, "You didn't have one the day of your MRI?" I didn't. She said, "Oh, well the doctor saw that your lymph nodes were enlarged so she thought that maybe you had a sore throat."
So I go into panic mode. My dad has Non-Hidgkins Lymphoma. So I tell her that and she chuckles. CHUCKLES. I respond, "I'm serious. Now I am a bit alarmed." To which she responds, "Oh." UM..... OH?
About an hour later, the same girl calls me back and says gently, "The doctor wants to retest you in three months. If they are still swollen, you'll have a biopsy." I killed her with kindness and hung up.
So the only medical testing results that we have are that I am anemic and I have enlarged lymph nodes. Don't google that...... lymphoma. I'm not freaking out because why? But I am going to go to my primary care and say, "What the hell?"
A friend of mine, who has fibromyalgia asked me today if I thought in my heart of hearts that I really have FMS. And honestly, I am not sure. I mean, a big part of me wants to have something else. Something that can be treated. Right now, I am living off vicodin and muscle relaxers. It's all pain management. I wouldn't mind having something else - something mild and curable. But I really don't know. Can you "feel" disease?
So, that is my question. Can you feel disease? If I truly had fibromyalgia, would I "know" that this is the right diagnosis?
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Ramblings on parenthood, religion and culture by a Mommy with definite opinions.
Identity Mixed
- Identity Mixed
- Middle of Nowhere, Appalachia, United States
- mom, wife, volunteer, student, professor, counselor, sister, daughter, friend .... Something different to everyone.
Cast of Characters
BFH - Best Friend who doubles as my Husband. We still like each other after 10 years of marriage.
BL - Big Love. Our oldest. He's currently 3 1/2 and the biggest extrovert you've ever met. Loves sports, animals and refused to let his mother cuddle.
EPT - The "baby." Colic for the first 4 months confirmed we will not have any other. While he is usually the most pleasant kid you've ever met, sometimes he reminds us that we'll never want to pee on a stick again.
The Pack - Two big dogs. Both females. 7 and 10 years of age. Both rescues. Both Omega dogs. It can be interesting.
The Zoo - Includes 2 cats and a box turtle. Sometimes we have a fish. Sometimes we also have a foster dog.
BL - Big Love. Our oldest. He's currently 3 1/2 and the biggest extrovert you've ever met. Loves sports, animals and refused to let his mother cuddle.
EPT - The "baby." Colic for the first 4 months confirmed we will not have any other. While he is usually the most pleasant kid you've ever met, sometimes he reminds us that we'll never want to pee on a stick again.
The Pack - Two big dogs. Both females. 7 and 10 years of age. Both rescues. Both Omega dogs. It can be interesting.
The Zoo - Includes 2 cats and a box turtle. Sometimes we have a fish. Sometimes we also have a foster dog.
4 comments:
first of all your "brain is normal"??? WOW! :) LOL!!!!
Scary diagnosis going around here...
I do think that you can know in your heart what the problem is. I know with my allergies when they get really bad I have symptoms that maybe aren't as obvious or "severe" but I treat it with allergy meds and life gets better. I know that's what it is, even though clincally it might not present as such. Last year I went to the er for my asthma - you couldn't tell on the outside that I was having an asthma attack, the triage nurse tried to send me home, but the dr gave me 60 mg of prednisone on the spot - that's the highest dose - they don't give that kind of drug to people who aren't having a problem!
That being said I'd almost rather you had fibro than cancer...fibro def sucks big fat monkey balls, but cancer....yikes.
Well first of all, shame on the nurse who handled the sensitivity of your question so thoughtlessly.
I'm not sure how much insight I can add to your question... but I do believe that nobody knows our bodies better than we do, and when things are amiss, we often sense that, but I'm not sure that we sense an actual diagnosis in that way, other than things like a common cold, for example.
Thinking about you...
I - the Fixer - would like to know if there is any way to move up the appointment.
I really don't have an answer to your question, maybe I'll send my mom your way as she has fibro. but... goodness... what a nightmare of a nurse.
i do hope you can get the appointment moved up and that your primary care doctor will be helpful.
bless you.
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