Serial Pisser

At least twice in the past week, I've been at a park or public event where I've been asked which ones are my kids. And I have looked for my child only to see...



And the answer is, "Mine's the one peeing."



This kid LOVES to pee. We're trying to convince him that public urination is not all it's cracked up to be. But so far, he's not buying it.

Random Beliefs

Celebrities = Not all they're cracked up to be. I honestly believe that a lot of being a celebrity is being in the right spot at the right time. So why do we care so much if they were just luckier than us?

Abortion = It should be legal. But in my perfect world, no woman would want or need one.

Dogs = Can be very dumb. Right now, one of mine is trying to catch a bee.

Siblings = Even though my kids fight, and even though I don't agree with my brothers, I am very glad that siblings exist. There is something nice about knowing there is someone else out there with a very similar history.

Jesus = I heard our youth worker tell some kids last night that you don't go to heaven if you don't believe in Jesus. I don't agree with her. I also don't think he was white and wore Birks, but that's for another time...

Hillary = I have decided I don't like her voice.

The Things They Say.... Loudly

We went out to eat tonight. BL stands up at the booth and yells, "Look! She's a Mommy! She has Biiiiiig boobies!"

Ugh.

Toddlerisms

Big Love, my three year old, just can't figure out how I know so much. I know when he's tired, when he's hungry, when he's thirsty, when he has to pee... and all before he says a word.

So he thinks he finally has figured it out. He told me the other day that mommies must keep all the stuff they know that daddies and others don't know in their boobies. That's why mommies have bigger boobies.

Does that make Pamela Anderson smarter than me?

My dream porch...

I am looking for two nice rocking chairs for my front porch. I have found ones I like, but do I really need to pay $200 for teak? Seriously. I have two kids and three dogs. Anything I buy has the potential to get scratched, stained, and quite possibly eaten.

All I want is two rocking chairs that are comfortable and dark brown in color. Inexpensive would be nice too. Anyone know a good carpenter?

Found Hearts

Anyone else find great joy when you see a heart in an unexpected place?

Blogging Widow

My husband came home from work one day and I asked him how his day was.

His response was, "Didn't you read my blog?"

Ok.... I believe I have become a blogging widow. The kind where we comment on each other's blogs as a means of communication. Or get passive-aggressive with each other on Twitter. Is this what happens with jobs and kids and hectic lives?

The Quack is In

I went to my primary care physician this morning to find out what was wrong with me. I do want to start off by disclosing that I had moved my son from this group a little over a year ago due to not being satisfied with their level of service. So my trust is not 100% with them.

Regardless... The nurse came in first and I told her why I was there. I said that I had a test result come back that I was concerned about and wanted to discuss with the doctor. Easy enough.

When the doctor came in, I gave her the story and she expressed no alarm. It definitely put me at ease. The fact that my glands are tender to the touch and maleable means that there is no cancer. In cases of cancer, the glands would be hard and not tender to the touch. This is one of the dangers - you do not feel any pain until the glands are so large that they interfere with your life. This is exactly what happened to my father. His lymph nodes were the size of baseballs and my mom sent him to the doctor.... Non Hodgkins Lymphoma.

But since I was there, I continued to rattle off symptoms. She sat and nodded.

I finally pressed about a spot on my back that has been bothering me and possibly the cause of pain shooting down my leg. She felt my back and said, "Oh, that's a benign tumor. Did you have a rough labor [with my youngest who is now one]?" I said, "No, it was easy." She nodded and said, "Interesting. Well this happens in about 10% of pregnant women."

I open my mouth to ask questions and was met with, "Hold on a minute." She grabbed her stuff and left. I thought she was leaving the room to go get an information form on my condition... or SOMETHING.

But the door opened a few minutes later and the nurse came back in. "Alright, you're all set."

I walked out. Completely alarmed. Paid my $20 copay and got in the car before I thought....

WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?!?

I was pretty much in shock. I called my husband almost in tears. She used the T word. Granted, the word "benign" was in front of it. But still. We talked through it. Should I call an oncologist? Dermotologist?

I call my chiropractor and leave a message. This is the man who for the past two months has been trying to help me through my back and leg pain. His response was that a benign tumor was something that was not supposed to be there. So it should be dealt with. And he was disgusted by how I was treated.

Tonight I went to my chiropractor and we discussed options. What is this benign tumor? What do we do?

It could either be the cause of all of my pain. Or something else is going on and my body has tried to correct it, in that process growing a benign tumor. Isn't the human body amazing?

So, I got the name of a surgeon from my chiropractor (their kids play together so he had to call his wife to get the name of the practice the surgeon works in!) and I go next week to start the process.

I am still a bit in awe of my day. I was so emotional today. You would think that I would be so happy over the news of not having cancer that the news of not having cancer didn't alarm me. (Did you follow that?!) But instead, the customer service I did not receive stayed with me and haunted me.

All Things Urine

My oldest, "BL" (Big Love), is 3 and potty trained. We fought with him for some time and when we relaxed and let him do it his way, it all worked out. (Isn't that always the case?)

Well, BL's big fight is that he absolutely has to pee standing up. And not just that, but he MUST have a target. So we put a piece of toilet paper in and his great joy is to break the piece of toilet paper in half and then move the halves around with his stream.

That's my boy.

We went to a playdate at the park yesterday and the public restroom was closed. But BL had to pee. So we went behind a building, I picked out a stick and he got the stick wet. Great fun. When we returned to the playground, all the other moms wanted to know how I solved the great pee problem. "Where did you go?" "The restroom is closed! What did you do?" Um.... I pulled down his pants and told him what to piss on.

This is one of the great joys of being the mom of boys. I am learning all kinds of interesting things about urinals. There is this really neat one in the basement of our church that is at the ground. BL loves to pee on the floor. Then when you flush it, a waterfall comes down the wall. Tonight, even cooler - a centipede was in it. So he got to pee on that (poor creature).

And, it is killer cute to hear a three year old say, "testicles."

Seriously. This is the part they don't tell you about. But it is the part where I really am thankful that I don't have girls. Is peeing this much fun when you have a daughter?

My 100th!

I recently celebrated my 100th post! I can hardly believe it! Happy birthday to me!

The main reason I started this blog was because I felt I had no one in the real world to vent to. Well, no friends locally, that is. I am fortunate enough now to have met people thanks to church, a club for moms and just running into people repeatedly in this small town.

But have no fear! I am not going anywhere! I appreciate all the online friends I have come across in my blogging career thus far and I hope to find many more in the years to come!

Special thanks to my top referrers - Village Carpenter, Preacher Blogger or Procrastinator, Presbyfruit, Random Thoughts and Acts of Stupidity, and Chorus, rounding out my top 5!

And my number one viewed post of all time is my post where I admitted to the world that I peed in my car.

Thanks to everyone and here's to 100 more!

Accident Prone?

Seriously. My husband makes fun of me for being accident prone. But this is annoying.

My tongue gets caught between the two moving heads on my Crest Spinbrush. How the hell am I brushing my teeth wrong?

Should I just find myself a rubber room now?

You're Not in New Jersey Anymore!

I grew up on a farm in western PA but I lived in New Jersey for 10 years. It has been nearly two years that we have been out of New Jersey and I still have moments that alarm me. I still have New Jersey expectations about some things and it amuses me.

Tonight's classified ad from our local paper is one amusement....

Employment Opportunities
LOOKING FOR FT/PT FARM WORK
Heat detection sort for breeding, calving, cow treatments and records, calf feeding,

Veterinary communications, Treat Sick Cows and Mastitis Cows, Heifer Vaccinations, Pre-Fresh, BST Breeding Shots, Milking treated and Fresh Cows, Computerized record keeping,

TAGGING, SORTING

Wow. How do you detect if the cow is in heat? That was the first thing that stood out to me. Who wants that job?!?

FibroMyHuh?

I just emailed this to Will Smama and it was total stream of consciousness. So I thought I'd throw this out for the world to see. This is what happened to me today and my thoughts on it. I would really appreciate feedback. Constructive feedback to my final question. I am not alarmed or worried, just seeking some insight....

Hey.... thought I'd give you a mini-update. I had an MRI last week. (I think I told you, but not sure.) They wanted to make sure that the lesions I had on my brain in 2002 have not moved, grown, etc. Well.... they're not there. That's the good news. We had thought that possibly the lesions were the cause of some muscle and joint issues I have been having. My whole right side goes numb and that's not how FMS acts. So they wanted to just double check. Well, brain is normal!

But...idiot medical professionals that are here..... The girl who called said, "Just wanted to let you know that everything is normal so all is well." And then she said something which confused me, "How is your sore throat?" I said, "I don't have a sore throat." She said, "You didn't have one the day of your MRI?" I didn't. She said, "Oh, well the doctor saw that your lymph nodes were enlarged so she thought that maybe you had a sore throat."

So I go into panic mode. My dad has Non-Hidgkins Lymphoma. So I tell her that and she chuckles. CHUCKLES. I respond, "I'm serious. Now I am a bit alarmed." To which she responds, "Oh." UM..... OH?

About an hour later, the same girl calls me back and says gently, "The doctor wants to retest you in three months. If they are still swollen, you'll have a biopsy." I killed her with kindness and hung up.

So the only medical testing results that we have are that I am anemic and I have enlarged lymph nodes. Don't google that...... lymphoma. I'm not freaking out because why? But I am going to go to my primary care and say, "What the hell?"

A friend of mine, who has fibromyalgia asked me today if I thought in my heart of hearts that I really have FMS. And honestly, I am not sure. I mean, a big part of me wants to have something else. Something that can be treated. Right now, I am living off vicodin and muscle relaxers. It's all pain management. I wouldn't mind having something else - something mild and curable. But I really don't know. Can you "feel" disease?

So, that is my question. Can you feel disease? If I truly had fibromyalgia, would I "know" that this is the right diagnosis?

Right..... but what do YOU think?

Let me start of by saying I am a Democrat. I think it's pretty clear, but I want to lay that out there before I begin.

McCain was on Letterman last night. Did anyone else catch it? It was pointless. Sure, as it was happening, he was saying pretty intelligent stuff. He made the audience laugh and applaud. And this is New York City. They only clap when they mean it (and sometimes when they are told).

But upon reflection this morning, it occurred to me - he said not one original thought. Everything he said was a quote from someone else. Of course, when we quote people, we sound very intelligent, well read, like someone who reflects upon every spoken word. But all that shows me, in hindsight, is that he can repeat others who think just like him.

What does everyone else think?

Baptisms

I know you have all been at the edge of your seats waiting to hear how the baptisms went. Sorry it has taken me so long to blog. I honestly don't know how other moms do this. Do they work just so they can get away from their kids and update their blogs? As the only adult at home for the vast majority of the day trying to manage a 3 year old who is testing limits and a one year old who is testing gravity, I simply have little time for much else. Nevermind the cleaning, tidying, dog walking, cat litter changing, meal cooking..... Ugh. Don't remind me.

Anyway.... My boys were FABULOUS! They looked so freaking cute in their matching brown linen pants with white oxfords. And we had little vests made from the train of my wedding dress. Killer cuteness I must say. The only thing missing was matching argyle socks. (Some of you know my love for those!)

We had 16 family members here for the festivities. I was stressed out about getting to the church on time, etc. But overall, it was wonderful.

One of the best things is having your son baptized at an age he can comprehend a bit of what is happening. We told the three year old that the pastor was going to put water on his head and that meant that Mommy and Daddy would always take him to church. He was thrilled. In fact, so much that he wants to be baptized again. I guess we have a bit more explaining to do.

The baby slept through the whole thing, with some cute "oohs" and "aahs" from the congregation. It was so nice.

A lot of people have asked us why we waited 3+ years to have our oldest child baptized. The main reason is that I wanted with confidence to stand up in church and say that I trusted these people to help me raise my children. Not only in terms of socializing, discipline, but in faith as well (she types as she realizes she missed a Christian Education committee meeting tonight....). We finally are at a place where we feel church is our home. And every day, the oldest wakes up and says, "Is it a church day or a school day?"

It's all good.