Not What Was Said, But What I Heard

One of the reasons I wanted to go into counseling. Too many kids hear this from adults.

EPT

Oh EPT... Further and further proof that I AM NEVER PEEING ON ANOTHER STICK. In fact, I had my tubes tied to confirm this... but that's another story.

EPT has always been delayed. With everything. His birth. Crawling. Walking. You name it. He just does it all in his own time.

The best example with him was walking. At about 13 months, I dropped him off at the church nursery. We have a paid attendant and the boys see her twice a week. She loves those kids and they love her.

Went back to get him and Miss B said, "You didn't tell me he was walking." Um... He's not.

He literally walked for her for two months before he walked for us. Twice a week for 45 minutes at a time, he'd walk in the church nursery. Then come home to crawl. Huh?

What is up with this kid?

And now that he's 3. TODAY he's THREE! We've of course noticed this continued trend. He didn't talk for a long time. Now we're in speech therapy and he's on his own time and terms. The therapist will ask where he wears his shoes.

Correct answer? "Feet." EPT's answer? Deep sigh. Points. "Down there." I just think he thinks we're all idiots.

Fertility Schmertility

When I was about 13 years old, my parents were told that I'd neer have children due to my extreme endometriosis. As a teenager, it never bothered me. I liked kids. Other people's kids. Then when I got married, I was so terrified of the financial burden of having children (can you tell we lived in New Jersey?), that I stayed on the pill "just in case."

When we finally decided it was time to start a family, I got pregnant right away. And then miscarried.

It was horrible. I remember going to the doctor (who was a male OBGYN) and venting my frustration. He told me that he just "knew" how much I wanted a baby. Um.... Really? And that it would happen. Eventually. Plus, it was good news that I had a miscarriage. This meant that I COULD get pregnant, which was the hurdle we never thought we'd jump.

Yes folks. A male OB told me that it was "good news" that I miscarried.

I am still not sure how I prevented myself from bitch-slapping him.

When I eventually did have my first son, affectionately nicknamed Big Love, I was able to reflect on it all in a positive light. I had my child. For me, the fertility battle was over. And I had won. I beat the stupid doctor. I beat my scarred uterus.

But I hope I never forget the bad bedside manner of someone who told me they got it but never really could.

Career Schtuff.... Help me Process!

It's time for Mommy to go back to work! I had two job interviews this week and I want to process them. If the pay is the same for both, I honestly don't know what I'll do. They are Job One and Job Two, in the order in which I interviewed for them.

A little background in my education: BA in Sociology and Christian Education, MA in Counseling an am a Nationally Certified Counselor

Job One: Working at a local hospital. I would be floating between the three psych wards (which are divided by age 4-17, 18-55 and 56+). When needed, I would go to the ER to do a psych intake.

Job Two: Working as a Mobile Therapist. I would travel to adult's homes. These adults would be unable to leave their homes for whatever reason (anywhere from physical health issues to mental health issues - wheelchair to agoraphobia). I would counsel them in their homes.

PROS:
Job One - Fantastic benefits, including continuing education
Job One - Different every day and I thrive in variety
Job Two - Make my own hours, so my own schedule
Job Two - It would be "easy" since I've done this before with children.

CONS:
Job One - Shift work. 8:30-4:30 or 3-11. No on call. Every third weekend off.
Job One - 40 minute commute
Job Two - Work is only when my clients are actually at their homes and able to "work."
Job Two - I'd have to pay into benefits
Job Two - Current 20 hour work week which will be gradually increased to 30+ (Agency considers full time to be 30 hours)
Job Two - No direct supervision

More as I think of them.... Thoughts?

Mom's Questions

Every day I feel that I ask a question I don't want to ask. At least once a day.

Today's?

"Did you fart in the guest bedroom?"

Why does it matter? Because if he did, then I need to make sure he gets lots of water or juice so that can get out of his colon. And if he didn't, I need to find the dog poop.

Rest In Peace

Last week was an odd one for me. I had a lot of personal things going on, including a huge concern over my youngest, EPT and his upcoming appointment at Children's Hospital. The day I was scheduled to leave, there was a twitter on Twitter. Gideony had died.

I'm still in this weird, unexplainable reflective space over his death. It turns out he commited suicide. Those of us who "knew" him online were shocked. He and I followed each other on Twitter and had made many funny connections. It's odd now to describe him this way, but he was like a breath of fresh air in many ways. He had a good mix of sarcasm, humor and positive insight that made me reflect further on things.

But unfortunately, being friends with someone on a virtual community does not help you fully feel their pain. That wasn't any more clear to me than it was last week. He had died December 11 and the word did not hit Twitter until December 16th, after his funeral had already happened. Many of us, although across the country, would have found a way to get to his funeral and show our support for his life and work.

It is difficult on Twitter, where you have only 140 characters, to express how you feel about someone, how much you care for them, what you'd be willing to do for them if you knew they were in dispair. And those who are in dispair just don't have enough characters to express the sorrow in their hearts. This proves to me that those who I have connected with in the online environment need to be met personally. They need to be touched and held. After all these years of human existence, it goes back to basic human contact where we are best able to show our affection and concern.

Long Time, No Blog

And I say it again....

It's virtually impossible to blog as a stay at home mom. I truly don't know how people do it. I barely get the laundry put away... Ok. I don't even get the laundry put away. Barely have time to think my thoughts, let alone put them on "paper."

My big issue right now is that I'm reay to go back to work. I don't think that everyone is truly cut out to be a stay at home mom and I've essentially done it for 4 years. So I'm starting the job search quest. It's a tough one out ther.

A struggle is that every job I look at asks for salary requirements. Can I just answer, "Enough to cover daycare and a housekeeper?" Hardly seems appropriate.

Anyone have some good salary calculators?