This mom forum that I belong to has caused a lot of thinking to happen in my tiny little mind recently. Today, there was a post that asked if anyone was ever completely ready to have children. All the responses said, "No. No one is ever 100% ready for kids. And if you are, then you are deceiving yourself."
Well... I have to say that I was 100% ready for kids. BFH and I were married for over 6 years before we started trying. We owned a three bedroom townhouse. He had a full time job and two masters degrees. I was finishing up my masters. We knew that we weren't completely the most financially stable couple on the planet (we did live in NJ - where no one can be financially stable due to that horrible cost of living). But we loved each other. We had been around children a lot. We were educated and willing to do whatever it took to raise our children. And we had no delusions. We knew that our lives would be turned upside down. And we were ready for that excitement!
So of course the responses were over the top. "Are you ready for your daughter to be raped?" Huh?
"Do you know what to do when they fall down and hurt themselves?" Um.... that's called health insurance.
"How do you respond when they act ridiculous as a teenager?" You mean like you are now?
"If your child is molested, you can't deal with that financially." No, you are right. But it is you assuming that money can solve any problem.
Only one person answered in a manner I agreed with. She said, "Yes, I was ready for kids. It was infertility that I wasn't ready for." God bless her.
So.... were you ready? Do you think you can be ready? Are you truly 100% ready for children, or are you just ready for the ride?
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4 comments:
Very interesting post. We've been married 12 years and I'm still not ready to pretend to be even halfway ready.
Thanks for your comment over at my place!
I certainly don't agree with the statement that nobody is ever ready to have kids...
Perhaps a person can't be 100% prepared for all the things that come with being a parent, but a person can certainly be 100% ready to embrace those challenges, head on.
Good for you.
i've been thinking about this a lot the past few days as we're now half way through this first pregnancy, after three and a half years of trying, after a lifetime of feeling ready for kids.
now... i'm not so sure.
it doesn't help, perhaps, that i'm starting a ph.d. program at the same time. but... i have worries i never thought i'd have.
that said... i think i'm ready. i hope i'm ready. i wept an awful lot of tears unnecessarily these past several years if i'm not.
Ohhhhh...no, I was NOT ready.
I was scared to death.
I think there are people who are very ready for parenthood. I'm sure they had times when they were nervous and scared, but they were ready and so very happy about it.
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