Gluten Smluten

I have fibromyalgia and for some people, eating a gluten-free diet really helps. So I thought I'd try it out. Wow. It has truly changed my life. Let me tell you how in just one three letter word - yes.... "g-a-s."

In high school, I was the girl who could fart on command. Why was that, you ask? Because I was always holding something in. I always had the worst painful gas but constantly was pinching and holding it in. It hurt.

In college, friends took me to the ER one night because I was in agony. The ER doctor said it was gas. My lovable friend who ended up being my maid of honor at my wedding, got her strong Italian pointer finger out, pointed it right at the doctor and said, "There is no way in hell four 20 year old college students came to the ER because of gas." A week later, I ended up at my family doctor with kidney stones.

Then I had a tapeworm in college (I know... I know... stop with the digestive drama). I spent a semester in a beautiful third world country where a tiny little worm egg got into my bloodstream through a blister on my foot (damn you Tevas!) and thus began 10 months of medical mystery until Mr. Squiggles revealed himself in the T.J. Maxx bathroom in a Pittsburgh suburb.

Every evening of my life, I have had issues with gas pain. I don't want to go anywhere after about 6 p.m. because I am nervous I will let one slip. And my hubby will confirm that there is no just letting one slip then hiding. They be rank.

But now.... 20 days gluten free, my life has changed! I am not sore, I have no gas pains, my tummy no longer looks as if I am 4 months pregnant, and my husband does not mind being in the same room with me past 6 p.m. WOW!

Thank God this is a semi-anonymous blog.