Honestly... Be Honest

For my graduate program, we had to go for counseling for at least three sessions and write a paper about our experiences. I think it was to ensure we understood life on the other side of the couch or something. But it was a valuable experience. I mean, who doesn’t need counseling?!

One of the things that came up in counseling for me was that I remember every time in my life that someone thought I was lying but I was telling the truth. Interesting. I don’t remember each time that I truly was lying – just when I wasn’t and someone thought I was. I think this says something about my personality.

I actually quit Girl Scouts in elementary school because I said something about living on a farm and one of the adults told me I did not live on a farm. Of course I did. But the beauty of the western PA countryside was that you could see our house from the road, but not the barn or any animals. My aunt and uncle actually missed our wedding because it was supposed to rain the day after and someone needed to stay behind and take in hay. Come on – that’s the epitome of the farmer’s life. But she thought I was lying and as an 8 year old, there was no way I could convince her otherwise. So I quit.

I’ve been thinking a lot about dishonesty because it’s baseball season. I need to preface this by saying that I am not a baseball fan. I cannot call something a sport if you are able to be on the playing field with a big piece of chew in your mouth. So NASCAR is out too. But I digress.

All this hype about Barry Bonds. I just don’t care. And I wish others did not too. He is clearly not telling the truth about his steroid use. The fact that he is not up in arms over it and considering quitting the Girl Scouts because no one believes him is evidence enough to me. He is a liar.

It reminds me of an episode of According to Jim. Jim reflects on how he used to be an athlete and is dared to run a marathon. It’s harder than he thought it would be, so he ducks into a salon and has a pedicure while everyone else is running. He falls asleep during the pedicure and when he wakes up, he thinks he’s been asleep much longer than he really was. So he races to the finish line thinking he’ll be last. But he’s first! He eats up the praise until he takes his shoes off at home and his wife sees his toenails painted red and calls him on the carpet.

See – it’s funny and cute on a sitcom. But in real life? When there’s no laugh track, it’s time to call it quits.