painting = pondering

I am taking a break from painting my son's room to blog since being in a room by myself painting seems to bring out the ponderer in me. Ponderer? Surely that's a word.

I was trying to think of some things that have made me happy in the past few days and was pretty surprised when it was easy. So much of our lives seems to be focused on negativity. Why? Even people's Facebook status updates are depressing. Complaining about the long day, the weather, the husband, the dishes.... It gets old. In the past few days I have tried to be deliberately positive. And was fortunate to find out it was easy!

So what has brought me joy? One thing is that my mother is here helping with my kids this weekend while the hubby is away. My mother? Bring me joy? If I reflect on our relationship, it hasn't all been rosey. In fact, there was a major period of my life where I didn't speak to my parents. So seeing them now interact with my kids is joyful. She and I both had to change and adapt in order for my children to be in her life. And I was perfectly willing to do that. So was she, which, in turn, brings me joy!

She has told me now and then that she is working on being a better grandparent than she ever was a parent. How amazing is that. Not only for her to acknowledge that our childhood was flawed (to say the least), but to be deliberate about her relationship with my children. I'm impressed.

She also told me a few weeks ago that you know you love your children. And when you have them, you think there is no stronger love. But then you have grandchildren. So to watch her with them is exciting for me. Not only to see the role she has with them, but to think of my grandchildren. My precious little boys who I adore more than anything will some day produce grandchildren for me that I will have the capacity to love more than my own children? Phenomenal.

Another fun thing is listening to the little conversations my sons have with their grandma. My oldest told Grandma today that a friend of ours lives in a "fun house." This friend does not have children, so I loved this. He doesn't love her house for her stuff, for her toys or any material objects. He loves her house for her, for the fun we have together, for the memories. He's only four. And I'm so proud.

Cool stuff. And now back to painting...