It has been interesting over the past week talking to other moms both in the Club and not about what I have been put through.
Those in the Club that I have opened up to about this have had oodles of empathy about what my family has been put through. Seriously... peeing behind a tree? The funniest moment though was when I was at the gym last week. L said, "So and So told me about the letters and I feel so bad for you." She was someone I really like but haven't had many opportunities to connect with. She's one of those people that you can just tell is nice. And I really do want to get to know her better.
But as we talked more about the content of the letters, all the color left her face and she started to say, "oh no, oh no, oh no" under her breath. I started to wonder if she knew who wrote them. Then, she said, "I'm really worried. Because this summer, we were at Blank Park and you know how that bathroom is up a big hill. Well, S told me he had to go to the bathroom, so I told him to pick a tree. But in a few minutes, I looked over and saw his bare bum. He was POOPING behind the tree!"
Laughing my rump off on the treadmill and trying desperately not to fall off, I said, "What did you do?"
She said, "I wiped him with a leaf and covered it with dirt!"
At this point, I smacked my hand off the side of the treadmill getting a nice bruise to remind me of the horrors of her playdate!
So.... do you think she'll get a letter? Or do you think this person was not there? :)
The other interesting thing was when I had a long conversation with my pharmaceutical rep friend, my veterinarian friend and my lawyer friend. They are all moms who work. They all agreed that they were not shocked that something like this would happen in a moms group.
So are we truly not able to support each other? Does it matter to you how I raise my children if they are not being harmed or in danger in any way? Or do you have a right to step in and write a letter that is "anonymous?"
The main lesson that I have learned from this is that I need to step back and really evaluate who I let into my "inner circle." I clearly am going to have some trust issues for a while.
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2 comments:
I have lots to say on this topic, but it's all a bit jumbly in my mind right now. I work in a very large office staffed mostly with women of child-bearing years. And the way that they treat each other, and those who are expecting children, is far from what I would call supportive. They are competitive, and they make no secrets of their judgments of one another. And they do everything they can to scare the pants off the young mothers. It's the #1 reason why I don't go in the lunchroom.
I think women at their best can be extremely supportive. At their worst, they can cause enormous damage.
Don't blame you for being careful about your inner circle.
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